Choppy Waters
The raw strength and determination of a new-born mother in choppy waters
I fight
To keep him afloat
Drowning myself
In the process
My mind is lost
Somewhere along the horizon
I pass him to my loved ones safely ashore
Before my flailing limbs
eventually weaken
10pm meds
A line of lost and broken mothers
Queue along the corridor
Waiting patiently for their turn.
They wear flip flops and pajamas
Displaying ‘good vibes’ logos, unicorns and rainbows
This is not how it’s meant to be.
I saw
I saw my mother holding my baby
I saw kindness swirling in her eyes
I saw myself gathering broken pieces
I saw the sunrise lifting me out of the dark
I saw kindness holding my baby
I saw myself swirling in her eyes
I saw the sunrise gathering broken pieces
I saw my mother lifting me out of the dark
You were
You were
Not even a glint
Until you were
You were
Precious cargo
A source of staggering worry
You were
A strong boy
Strength borrowed from Mummy
You were
Born and hungry
Anxiety rising in me
You were
So soft and healthy
I was diminishing, quickly
You were
A stranger
For a long, long time
Until you weren’t
A poem for Reuben
You are
The dream
I never knew I had
Until it came true
You are
The shock
That slowly melted my heart
Into warm bliss
You are
My comfort
I am
Your comfort
